I love being a Mother.

You know how sometimes, something you knew all along becomes a realization that hits you harder than you expected?

 

That happened to me today.

 

I love being a Mother.

 

Despite of (and during) the times where my son is smashing his crackers in his toes (yes, he's done that), pouring his brothers bottle out on his pants, in the car, while his brother screams next to him, and even while my twins wake me multiple times in the middle of the night. DO I love those experiences? Not really, but I still love being a mother.

 

Sometimes I want to scream, cry, pull my hair out and stomp my feet (can you tell I'm around a toddler all day?) and I need a break from mommy mode but there is no break from being a mother. It's probably the biggest part of who I am right now, not the only part, but definitely the biggest.

 

When Michael is in trouble or doing something he shouldn't, I get down on his level, pull him close, tell him to look at me, and briefly explain what he should/should not be doing and what will happen if he doesn't stop (normal stuff). Lately though, I've been doing the same thing, pulling him close telling him to look at me and telling him "I love you." He looks at me and says almost in a shy voice "Luh youuu" With Michael having to share the spotlight so early in life, we (josh and I) try very hard to create moments and experiences where he is the center of attention and knows without a doubt in his almosttwo(!) year old mind that we love him and he is important. I feel like this little exchange we do makes him feel special because he knows when I tell him to look at me, I have something important to say. You can see it on his face. It's beautiful, the way he lights up.

 

I love being able to know someone (well, 3 someones) well enough to notice the difference in their eyes.  What a blessing it is to be a mother.

 

Being a mother is empowering.  We are given divine gifts to be the best person to take care of our children.  We know more about how to take care of them than any doctor with years of education and experience (not that we shouldn't seek help from doctors, but we know when to do that).  I feel like because I am a mother I have confidence; I have purpose.



After delivering Michael

 

 

 

A couple days after the twins were born and could be held finally.